Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Hate Computers, Sometimes

Yeah, yeah, I know, I should be finished with this Artist's Way stuff already.  Slowly, slowly, I continue on.  Well, it's interesting stuff and helping me to be creative more ofter and feel good about it, but it's  s  l  o  w. And it's slow, because I'm so slow on the uptake here.  Ok, give me a break.  I'm getting there. 

My computer is not co-operating today.  I'm sitting at my desk waiting for it to move along, like me I guess.  I was trying to comment on another blog and the computer wouldn't let me.  How many times did I have to enter the stupid password so the comment would post?  Ack!  So while I was waiting I was tweeting how annoyed I was.  Yes, I'm Miss Social Media now.  And since I couldn't post my comment fast enough I went over to facebook to look at that.  Finally I decided I've had enough, closed down the computer and turned it on again, only to find out that I needed some new add-on or I won't be able to comment on anything!  Fun!  Turn it on, turn it off, re-start, slap the monitor, let's go already!  Do I need this?  All I want to do is make my little connections, laugh a little bit, update some stuff, write my post and be outta here!!!  Is that possible?  Huh?

No, the computer says.  You must close down and restart to resume.  Oh lucky me.  I'm thrilled to pieces.  I do it and here I am, late to my own party.  I like getting things done early.  I like waking up early and getting on with my thing.  But today it's not happening.  Nope!  My morning is wasting away.

I wanted to write about what I read in Walking in This World.  If I could only finish this and be doing what the book says, but I'm not finished and I'm still not doing everything.  I guess it's no big deal, who's going to give me an "F"?  Maybe me.  I can't get out and walk no matter what the book says.  And the Artist's date thing?  Can you call a trip to the nearest Marshall's discount store an Artist's Date?  How about food shopping?  I don't think that's what they meant.

The section I wanted to discuss was about insecurity.  The author writes that sometimes we don't think we're as good as we are, or as the next guy, and it could make us hostile.  We can become overwhelmed with our state of creativity, but the Universe is not.  There is always endless supplies Plan B. As an artist, we're encouraged to like ourselves just the way we are.  I guess there's hope for me after all.  When we're insecure we end up with self-pity, and that's not great to wallow in.  Feeling pity, or sorry for one's self is a little like a self-inflicted drama, poor me thing.  It's frustrating.  As I read I agreed that "self-pity is born of fatigue and a rest or a nap is beneficial daydreaming." 

After this long, slow morning with the idiot box I'm playing with I could use a bit of creative daydreaming.  I'll see you all later, I've got things to do!

2 comments:

  1. ooh.. computers and artistic insecurity!
    I bet we could fill a blog for a year :lol:

    Computers and letter verification is a pain. I'd rather skip the letters and approve each comment. Easier all round as I check my emails daily. Well, for me anyway. My worst bugbear is the microsoft updates which manage to mess up my settings every time! grrr..

    Artistically sometimes I view other work and I don't get hostile, but I almost despair of my abilities.. and then I think to myself, there are plenty who do like how I paint, and there's no right or wrong way.. just different strokes.. and after a profiterole or three, I'm fine :)

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  2. I'll paint something and think, ugh what is that, and someone else will utterly love it, so who knows? Pat you can send some profiteroles over here and I'll be A-OK too!

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